Resolutions
by Mnemosyne's Elegy
Summary: When Natsu and Happy stick their feet in their mouths, Gray is stuck doing damage control. Afterwards, he and Lucy talk a little about New Year's resolutions.


**Note: Welcome to 2017 :) I hope it's a great year for everyone!**

 **I was randomly thinking about New Year's resolutions a couple months ago and somehow I connected it to FT when I remembered a comment I saw a looong time ago, and thus a story was born.** **I guess it would have to take place before Tartaros because of a couple minor comments about Natsu and dragons, but it's really not that important.**

* * *

She really should have known better than to ask them a serious question. Fairy Tail mages weren't exactly known for taking things seriously unless the stakes were really high, and sometimes not even then. And Lucy loved them for it, but at times like this when she really just wanted a serious answer, it could be rather frustrating.

"No, you can't resolve to turn into a dragon," she told Natsu impatiently. "That's not how this works."

"But I'm already halfway there," the dragon slayer reasoned. "I can already breathe fire, and Happy can be my wings when I need him to be."

"Yeah, but you can't actually turn into a real dragon," Gray grumbled, rolling his eyes. "Why would you resolve to do something impossible?"

"I dunno. Lucy just asked what our resolutions were—she didn't say they had to be realistic."

Lucy groaned and rubbed at her temples. "I just want to know your real resolutions. I only have a day left to come up with mine and I need ideas. It's surprisingly difficult to come up with one this year."

Lucy had always been a big fan of holidays and she loved celebrating all the traditions. For Christmas that meant buying gifts and decorating trees and baking cookies. For Halloween it meant dressing up in ridiculous costumes and handing out candy to laughing children. And for New Year's Eve, it meant coming up with a resolution. Sure, there was also confetti and all that fun stuff, but the resolution was the really important part.

She had inherited the love of all things holiday from her mother, and holiday traditions had always been a form of mother-daughter bonding. Even though Layla Heartfilia had been dead for years, Lucy carried on all the traditions they had once shared. Including New Year's resolutions.

Usually coming up with a resolution wasn't _that_ difficult—although Lucy didn't like to repeat them year to year and they had to have at least some kind of meaning—but this year she was stumped. It felt rather like when she ran into writer's block and her novels languished for months at a time until she could find her muse again. Except that she couldn't wait months to come up with her resolution because New Year's Eve was tomorrow. Trying to mooch off other people's resolutions wasn't ideal, but she was getting desperate and was looking for any possible source of inspiration.

"You guys _do_ do resolutions, don't you?" she asked, suddenly worried that maybe her friends were among the ranks of the holiday-challenged.

"Every year," Natsu said cheerfully, giving her a wide grin. "But really, Lucy, did you have to ask? My resolution is to get stronger so that I can beat Erza and the ice princess, of course!"

"Dream on, flame brain." Gray snorted derisively. "You're not going to be able to beat me, and you've been trying to beat Erza for years now without success."

"Just you wait!" Natsu sputtered, drawing himself up to his full height to stare down his rival indignantly. "This is gonna be the year I defeat you all!"

"Uh-huh. Whatever you say."

"You're just bitter because you always fail your resolution," Natsu grumbled, crossing his arms.

Lucy perked up a little, wondering if maybe someone actually had a serious resolution after all. "Oh yeah? What's his resolution?"

"To quit that dumb stripping habit of his."

Or maybe not. She sighed.

"He has the distinction of being the Fairy Tail mage with the longest track record of failed resolutions," Natsu added, grinning. "Every year it's the same resolution, and every year he fails miserably."

"Whatever you say," Gray said again.

There was something in his eyes, something almost amused and slightly nostalgic, that made Lucy think there was more to that story, but she had bigger problems right now.

"Great," she grumbled. She glanced around the room as if someone else might be able to give her the answer she was looking for, and her gaze caught on Erza as the requip mage gesticulated wildly to punctuate whatever point she was trying to make to a rather smug-looking Mira. "I wonder what Erza's resolution is."

"I bet it has something to do with strawberry cake!" Natsu answered immediately. "Hey, you guys wanna take bets? I bet it has to do with cake."

Gray snorted. "I doubt it. Somehow I don't think her resolution is about food."

"Why not?" Happy asked, finally finding the conversation interesting enough to join in. "My resolution is to go fishing every day so that I can eat lots and lots of fish!"

"Of course it is," Lucy said with a sigh, shaking her head wearily.

"Better be careful," Natsu warned the Exceed. "If you eat too many fish then you're going to get all heavy like Lucy."

"I'm not heavy!" Lucy protested, flushing.

She knew that this was something of a running joke that Natsu and Happy had about her and wasn't something she should take seriously, but still, it had gotten old really fast and she was tired of it.

"Hey, that can be your resolution!" Natsu said, sounding thoroughly pleased with himself. "Losing weight is a pretty common resolution, right? There you go."

"Good idea," Happy agreed. "It would be easier to fly you around if you weren't so heavy."

"I don't need to lose weight!" Lucy hated that her cheeks were burning and humiliation was clawing at her insides. It was just a dumb joke.

"But it would make my life so much easier," the Exceed wheedled.

"And anyway, you needed a resolution, didn't you?" Natsu added happily. "It's perfect!"

"Hey, hey, leave her alone," Gray interrupted, frowning at the two co-conspirators.

"Aw, you're still just mad about the resolution thing, yeah? Not my fault you're so bad at it."

"Oh yeah? Says the idiot who thinks he can beat me and Erza."

Lucy rolled her eyes as yet another inane argument started up. "Well, I'm heading home for the night," she said flatly, standing up and tugging on her coat and mittens as she made a beeline for the door. "See you tomorrow."

She waved halfheartedly as everyone said goodnight, but didn't turn back. Call it petty, but she was still smarting from the commentary on her weight.

The chilly night air did nothing to soothe her irritation and she stomped down the darkened street with a scowl plastered on her face, only half aware that she was mumbling a whole host of uncomplimentary epithets under her breath. Who were Natsu and Happy to tease her about her weight anyway? Could they really not tell that they had pushed the joke too far now? It hadn't been terribly funny to start with, but at least it had been tolerable until it had been stretched out for months and months.

Well, she'd show them. Maybe she _would_ lose some weight. Not because she was really self-conscious or anything, but because she was sick and tired of getting teased. If she lost a few pounds then Happy would definitely notice next time he had to fly her around for something or other, and maybe it would shut up his complaining. Then again, she wasn't sure that there _was_ a way to shut up her idiot friends' complaining. Still, it couldn't hurt to try.

"Hey, Lucy!"

She came to a halt, whipping around as the unexpected voice jerked her out of her thoughts. Gray was jogging down the street toward her, and she waited for him to catch up. If she wasn't still fuming then she might have thought it was funny how he'd somehow managed to lose his shirt between when she'd seen him in the guild thirty seconds ago and now—it looked like Natsu hadn't been joking about Gray sucking at keeping that resolution. Then again, maybe she shouldn't take her frustration out on him since he wasn't actually the one being a jerk to her right now.

"What's up?" she asked, eyeing him curiously.

He stopped beside her and grinned at her crookedly. "Let me walk you home."

"Huh? Why?"

"It's already dark, Luce. Let me walk you home."

"Since when did you get all gentlemanly and chivalrous?" Lucy asked, shaking her head in puzzled amusement.

"Hey, give me some credit," he said with a laugh. "I'm not _always_ a jerk."

"I guess not."

Gray could be pretty annoying and insensitive sometimes, but Lucy had to admit that he was also ridiculously nice at times, even if he usually tried to play it off like it wasn't a big deal. Then again, she was half-convinced that almost every Fairy Tail mage had a split personality and Gray was no different on that front.

Deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt, Lucy acquiesced to the request. She started back down the street, Gray tucking his hands into his pockets and sauntering along by her side. They were quiet for several seconds before the ice mage sighed.

"Don't worry about Natsu and Happy," he said. "They can be kind of dumb and insensitive, but they mean well. Natsu just doesn't know how to talk to girls."

Lucy glanced over and arched an eyebrow. "And _you_ do?"

He laughed, removing one hand from his pocket to rub at his nose sheepishly. "Maybe not. But every once in a while I actually think before I speak, which is more than he can say."

"True," she conceded, grinning.

"But really, they're just joking around. They don't mean it—they're just too oblivious to realize when they're really starting to annoy you. They wouldn't bother teasing you if they didn't like you."

"I know," she said neutrally, holding back a sigh.

And she did. She knew about the dumb jokes and all that, she knew that Natsu and Happy were more oblivious than mean-spirited, but it didn't always make up for all the stupid things they spouted. And sometimes hearing something over and over again made it seem more true, even when she knew it was just a joke.

Gray studied her silently for a moment, his dark eyes glittering faintly as the two mages stepped into a circle of soft light from a streetlamp. Then he stopped short and reached out to grasp Lucy's arm gently, bringing her to a standstill as well. The blonde made a small sound of startled bewilderment, but Gray just guided her around with a light touch until she was facing the darkened window of a shop beside them.

"Just look for a second," he said quietly.

Lucy blinked at him in confusion, but then obediently turned her attention to the glass pane. In the light of the streetlamp, she could see her reflection wavering in the glass, Gray's beside her. She wasn't sure what exactly she was supposed to be seeing though.

"What–?"

"Do you really think you need to worry about their silly jokes? Look at yourself, Lucy. You're already gorgeous, yeah? Their commentary on your weight is unnecessary and you should know that. Have a little more confidence in yourself."

Lucy flushed and glanced down to hide her awkward smile. "Well look at that, maybe I'm really _not_ giving you enough credit. Looks like you can be a charmer when you want to be."

"I'm not an expert, but I know a couple useful tricks." Gray chuckled as he released her arm and started down the street again. "For one, it's always better to tell a girl that she's pretty than to tell her that she needs to lose weight."

She laughed and followed after him. "That's a good tip."

"I know." Gray's lips quirked upward for a moment, before being set back into a straight line. "Look, all I'm saying is that if you're really into this whole resolution thing, make it a resolution that you genuinely care about. Don't just adopt Natsu's suggestion as a dare or something."

"Yeah." Lucy coughed awkwardly, not wanting to admit that she had been considering doing exactly that.

Gray did have a point there though: she should be picking a real resolution and not something that Natsu had made up as a joke. And honestly, focusing on her weight too much would probably just make her really self-conscious anyway.

"The reason we can't really help you come up with a resolution isn't just because we're stupid or don't take it seriously," Gray added. "It's that these things should be personally meaningful. I know Natsu can seem kind of dumb at times—and he _is_ —but sometimes he can be more serious than we give him credit for. I know that when we were kids, his resolution was always to find Igneel. Never happened, obviously, and he stopped bringing it up eventually. But I wouldn't be surprised if, on some level, he still has that idea floating around in the back of his mind when you ask him a question like that.

"And that's why I don't think Erza's resolution has anything to do with cake. I think she might take all this holiday stuff as seriously as you do. Whatever resolution she announces to us isn't necessarily her main one. I'd be surprised if there wasn't something about the guild or her friends from the Tower or something in there. Even Happy can be a little more serious than you'd think. Sometimes, anyway.

"So just pick a resolution that really means something to you, okay? We can give you suggestions all day long, but to get the full effect you need to come up with something important to you."

Lucy hummed absently in agreement and thought that over as she strolled along, pulling her coat more tightly around herself to ward off the nighttime chill. Sometimes it was easy to forget that her friends did all have a more serious side, just because they didn't always show it very often.

She glanced over at Gray, her eyes lingering on his bare chest for a moment. "Your resolution doesn't really have anything to do with your stripping habit, does it?"

He started in surprise but then gave her a half-tired, half-amused smile. "Picked up on that, did you? No, it really doesn't."

Maybe what should have tipped Lucy off to that first was that he'd once mentioned that he'd picked the habit up from his old teacher. Even setting aside the fact that it had become something of an integral part of him, he might not want to try getting rid of something that was connected to her.

"Is it because of–?" She broke off and winced, realizing that it would have probably been better to keep her mouth shut.

Gray just shrugged. "Yeah, sometimes it reminds me of her because it's one of the few things I have left from her, so I don't want to get rid of it completely."

"Oh. So why do you tell everyone that it's your resolution then?"

"I don't." He rolled his eyes. "It started off as more of an assumption on everyone else's part, way back when I was a kid. It made sense to them that getting rid of an annoying habit would make a good resolution, and it was something they wanted me to work on. I think it started as sort of a joke and ended up as an assumption that it was true. And these days they seem to have forgotten that it's a resolution they made for me, not one I chose for myself."

"Why don't you correct them?" Lucy asked curiously. "If nothing else, I'd think it would be annoying to get labeled as the longest-running failure at New Year's resolutions, especially since you hate losing at anything."

"It's more convenient," Gray said with a shrug, his voice carefully neutral. "If they make assumptions about surface things then they aren't bothering me about anything meaningful."

Lucy frowned, not entirely understanding. And maybe that was the point, since Gray didn't seem eager to press the issue.

"So…What _is_ your resolution then?"

He shrugged again. "I don't always do resolutions."

Lucy thought back to when he had made the point that resolutions should be meaningful and personal. Maybe he really didn't bother with this tradition, but maybe it was something else.

"It's too personal?" she suggested.

One corner of Gray's mouth twitched upward. "Something like that."

"Oh. Sorry."

"It's fine," he said with a sigh. "But it's true that I don't always bother with resolutions. Depends. It's like… Well, contrary to popular belief, I don't actually enjoy all the exhibitionistic bullshit. It's something I've kind of grown used to over the years, but it's still pretty awkward. Plus I don't necessarily _want_ to be a jerk and freak people out. So even though I don't want to lose the habit completely, I've been working on toning it down for a while now. Not sure anyone has actually noticed, but it has become a lot less frequent over the past several months.

"The thing is, I didn't need a New Year's resolution to make that change. I've made a lot of resolutions in my life, and most of them aren't made on January first. When I decide to make a change then I'll do it right away instead of waiting for the new year. So I don't honestly bother with all these New Year's resolutions very much anymore. If you do then that's fine, but you don't have to make it out to be this life-or-death deal where you have to make the perfect resolution or the whole year is shot to hell."

"Less frequent, huh?" Lucy asked, giving him a meaningful look.

He glanced down at himself and rolled his eyes when he noticed his missing shirt. "Oops. It always seems to get worse in the cold."

"Kind of counterintuitive, isn't it?"

"Nah. The cold makes me nostalgic. Especially when it snows." He shrugged, but then grinned crookedly. "And anyway, it's not like the cold bothers me."

"I guess."

Come to think of it, maybe Gray's stripping _had_ been watered down a little for a while now. Lucy supposed he was probably looking to find a happy middle ground between his weirdness and desire for normalcy. She could relate to that. Sometimes it was hard to strike that balance, and she had the feeling that she and most of her friends were still working on it in their own ways.

"Okay," she said after a moment. "I see what you mean and I think you're right, but I still want to have an actual New Year's resolution."

"That's fine. Can't hurt anything." Gray's grin widened a little. "Make it a good one."

The problem with that being that Lucy still wasn't sure what to do. Her attempts to solicit advice from her friends hadn't exactly gone that well, and the original problem hadn't been solved.

"Ugh, I don't know why it's giving me so much trouble this year," she complained. "Come on, Gray, give me some inspiration."

He just laughed and shook his head. "Like I said, it should be personal to you."

"Yeah, but I could really use some ideas right now…"

"Hm." Gray paused and frowned thoughtfully at the ground. "Publish your novel already? You finished it months ago, so what are you waiting for? Not sure that makes a good _resolution_ , per se, but it's something you should probably do sometime next year."

Lucy rounded on him, bracing her mittened hands on her hips as she glowered up at him. "And just how would you know that my story is finished?" she demanded, eyes narrowing.

"Because I read it?"

"I thought I told you to stop stealing my story to read!"

Gray laughed, his eyes shining with mirth as he patted Lucy fondly on the head and started walking again. The blonde scowled at his retreating back, but hurried to catch up.

"Aw, come on, Luce. If you keep leaving it just lying around then what can you really expect? Anyway, it's good. You should look into getting it published already. Have some more confidence in yourself."

Lucy flushed and wrapped her arms around herself, dropping her gaze to the ground. "You're my friend," she mumbled. "You have to say that."

"True," Gray conceded. Lucy could hear the smile in his voice. "But I also don't go around reading tons of novels in my free time, so yours must be okay if I read it all the way through."

Lucy was pretty sure she looked like a tomato, but maybe it was dark enough that Gray wouldn't notice. And he had given her a compliment, so she should technically thank him…

"I promised Levy she could be the first one to read it," she said instead.

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her." Gray was very obviously trying not to laugh, which didn't make Lucy feel any less embarrassed.

"Says you," she griped. Then she sighed and looked up again, noting thankfully that they were almost to her apartment. "Well, I guess it _is_ something I should look into eventually, but…"

"Yeah, it doesn't have to be your actual resolution." Gray shrugged. "It's not like I'm the best person to ask for advice about this. That was just kind of the only thing I could think of off the top of my head, and I thought that maybe writing and all that might help you feel closer to your mother or something."

Lucy froze mid-step, her heart jumping into her throat. Noticing her reaction, Gray paused as well and watched her guardedly.

"My mother?" she asked, throat dry. "What makes you think my writing has anything to do with my mother?"

Gray frowned and shifted uncomfortably. "Well, you write letters to her, don't you? I know that novel writing isn't the same thing, but I thought that maybe there was still a common element there."

"How do you know about the letters?" Lucy demanded.

"I mean…I spent months digging up your manuscript, you know. I ran across some of the letters."

"How _dare_ you read them?"

Now _that_ dug up a whole mess of swirling emotions. Her sudden anger made her tone sharp and indignant, but she also kind of wanted to cry. It was really annoying to be glaring at someone and simultaneously have to be blinking back tears.

"Of course I didn't read them," Gray huffed, giving her a wounded look. "I just saw who they were addressed to. I might read your novel without permission, but I'd never go browsing through your personal letters like that. I have boundaries."

Lucy glowered at him a moment longer before deflating. Actually, she kind of felt a little bad for automatically assuming the worst. Gray could be annoying and irreverent sometimes, but he was always careful not to cross lines.

"I'm sorry," she said with a sigh. "I shouldn't have assumed."

"Hey, it's okay," he reassured her. "I guess it was a reasonable assumption, given my bad habit of reading your stories without permission."

Lucy sighed again and rubbed at her face with her hands. "No, it really wasn't. I don't really think you'd do something like that and I should have known better."

They walked in silence for a few seconds before Gray gently nudged her with his elbow.

"It's okay," he said again. "Cheer up, Lucy. I'm sorry I brought up your mom. Come on, it's almost New Year's and you should be in a good mood."

Lucy smiled obediently and Gray grinned crookedly back. His smile was infectious, and Lucy found her own smile turning more genuine despite herself. At least she hadn't managed to offend him too badly.

"Well, you're right, anyway," she said, shrugging. "It does kind of help me feel closer to her sometimes, although more for the letters than the novels."

Gray's grin widened. "Hey, at least you've got something normal and socially acceptable like writing, rather than an odd stripping habit."

Lucy laughed, feeling her spirits lift a little. "Well, when you put it that way…"

"Yeah, yeah, you got the better end of the deal."

"I guess so," she said, chuckling. Then she let herself consider that for a moment, before sighing. "I'm not sure it's something I want to use for a resolution though."

"You don't have to. It was just a suggestion."

Lucy hummed absently in agreement and fell silent, content to enjoy the quietness of the night for a bit. Her apartment had already come into sight when the idea hit her and she turned to Gray with shining eyes.

"Wait, I've got it! What if I–?"

Gray moved faster than thought, whipping his hand up and gently covering her mouth to cut her off. She made a startled sound and jerked back, blinking at him in puzzled bewilderment.

He stared back, eyes unusually solemn. "You don't have to tell me," he said seriously. "If it's really personal, you might feel better if you don't. Sometimes it feels good to keep those things to yourself. Or maybe you could tell your mom in a letter or something. But for those really serious, personal things, sometimes you should just hold them in your heart because they're for you and you alone."

They stared at each other silently for a long minute, the world blurring around them.

Come to think of it… Gray had mentioned that Natsu and Erza and maybe even Happy had secret resolutions they didn't go around sharing with everyone. And he himself had been unwilling to tell Lucy about whatever it was that he felt was important and meaningful enough to save for the new year. And honestly, she and her friends always seemed to be hiding layers of secrets that only came to light when something forced their hand. Secrets about pasts and feelings and thoughts were a dime a dozen in the guild, and maybe Gray knew that better than almost anyone.

But in this case Lucy didn't think the secrets were a sign of a lack of trust, or even a way to push other people away and keep them out. Maybe Gray was right and sometimes it was comforting to keep something meaningful hidden in your heart, away from the prying eyes of the world.

Lucy didn't always feel the need to hide things, but maybe this was something she would keep to herself.

"Okay then," she said finally, shattering the spell lying over the area. "I guess my official resolution is that I want to get my novel published already. And maybe finish my current one."

"Sounds good."

Something about Gray's sly grin made Lucy think that he already knew about the half-completed manuscript sitting in her desk, even though he hadn't mentioned it and she'd tried to keep its existence hidden so that she didn't have to worry about nosy busybodies pawing through it. With her luck, he had already read the whole thing.

Lucy shook her head, but smiled. "Thanks for walking me home. It was nice to have a serious talk with you for once. Don't get many of those in the guild."

"No, I guess we don't," Gray agreed with a laugh. "And no problem. Hey, you want me to beat Natsu up for you? Teach him a lesson?"

She couldn't help but laugh. "My knight in shining armor. No, that's okay. I think I can handle his dumb jokes."

"Well, I'll probably beat him up anyway." Gray grinned. "I need to stamp out his delusion of being able to defeat me and Erza."

Lucy snorted in a particularly unladylike fashion. "Boys."

Gray just smirked unrepentantly. "Goodnight, Lucy."

"'Night."

Gray waited in the street while Lucy climbed up the steps to her apartment and unlocked the door. It was a little odd to see him behaving so chivalrously, although she supposed he had always been able to turn up the charm when he needed to. Well, she had enjoyed it while it lasted. She had no doubt that he'd be back to his usual rowdy self by tomorrow.

Stepping halfway inside, Lucy turned and waved at him.

"See you tomorrow, Luce," he said. "Good luck with your resolution."

She smiled. "You too, Gray."

"Thanks." He waved and turned away, heading back down the darkened street. "Later."

Lucy hummed in agreement and stared after him thoughtfully for a few seconds before slipping inside and shutting the door quietly. Kicking her shoes off, she padded over to her desk and plopped down on the chair, rummaging around for paper and a pen. She smoothed the slightly wrinkled page out and stared at the blank expanse for a moment, tapping her pen against the desk absently as she tried to find the right words.

 _Dear Mother…_

And when she found them, she smiled to herself and inked them across her heart.

* * *

 **Note: Yeah, yeah, apparently Natsu _could_ have turned into a dragon, but this is before Tartaros so no one knows that. Thanks for always ruining my stories, Mashima XD Anyway, the comment I mentioned in the beginning A/N was something someone said about being annoyed that Natsu and Happy always complain about Lucy's weight when she's so thin. I don't know how that turned into a story since I don't usually write Lucy, but...eh. Maybe I'm branching out a little. (That's a joke—I'm still all about that Gray angst lol)**

 **And use your imaginations. It would defeat the purpose for me to tell you what their resolutions were XD**

 **emmahoshi: Ha, don't worry, we'll get back to Gray's horrible state of health soon. If we substitute fish and cake with cookies, that would be mine lol Although yeah, I don't really bother with New Year's resolutions—I'm with you and Gray there. Oh boy, Frozen just ruins everything XD Yup, sometimes I need my mouthpiece fictional characters to do something to make a point lol Well, hope 2017 is a great year for you :)**


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